In a TED Talk, Nigerian novelist Chimamamda
Ngozi Adichie once said, “We teach girls shame. Close your legs; cover yourself.
We make them feel as though being born female, they’re already guilty of
something” (Adichie). Modesty is many different things. To some, “modesty” is
shyly deflecting a compliment. To Islamists, “modesty” is wearing loose
clothing to make sure a man is not tempted to be lustful. To Catholic schoolteachers,
“modesty” is a plaid skirt no shorter than three inches above the knee, to make
sure the pubescent boys do not get distracted. “Modesty” is associated with the
words shame, immorality, honor, worth, and guilt. Modesty is the attempt to
deceive others into thinking one is humble, physically and mentally, which is
why a discussion of the word modesty is important because that is not its
literal definition.
Modesty’s denotation is quite different
than its connotation. Modesty is derived from the Latin word “modestia,” which
means sense of honor, correctness of conduct, sober, gentle, and temperate
(Harper). It was first used in the 1530’s and meant self-control. In the
1550’s, it evolved to mean having a low opinion of oneself. By the 1560’s it
was targeted almost exclusively at women, being defined as “womanly propriety.”
In these times, modesty was all about balance and self-control. This is especially
important because in recent times it seems as though modesty has been forced
upon women. It has taken both a negative and positive connotation. Webster’s Revised
Unabridged Dictionary defines modesty in two ways: a “natural delicacy or shame
regarding personal charms and the sexual relation, purity of thought and
manners, due regard for propriety in speech or action” and “the quality or
state of being modest, that lowly temper which accompanies a moderate estimate
or ones worth or importance.” Modesty no longer has a positive denotation regarding
honor or gentleness. Modesty is now about lack of confidence, physically and
emotionally. Synonyms of modesty include self-effacement, self-consciousness,
and humility; which do not have positive connotations.
In some cultures, modesty is not a
choice; it is the law. To Islamic cultures, a modest woman is one who demands respect
and honor. Ironically, women are forced to wear full face veils, loose
clothing, and fabric to cover their feet. They are not allowed to wear perfume
("Islamic State Tightens Modesty Laws for Women"). The Islamic
state’s reasoning for this ruling is so women do not become “a feast for the
eyes” ("Islamic State Tightens Modesty Laws for Women"). Although
women appreciate the protection, they are not small children that need to be
looked after. Women are strong, and no amount of fabric is going to change
that. Instead of teaching Islamic women to cover every square inch of their bodies
and avoid perfume, the Islamic state should demand better behavior of its men.
Modesty is a personal choice – a woman should be respected no matter what she
is wearing.
Western culture is on the other end of
the spectrum when it comes to modesty. The media knows no bounds when it comes
to the dignity of women. Women’s bodies
are hypersexualized in the media, but it is still illegal for a woman to go
topless or breastfeed in public in thirty-five states. Sex worker Violet Rose
once said, “It is illegal for women to go topless in most cities, yet you can
buy a magazine of a woman without her top on at any 7-Eleven store. So, you can
sell breasts, but you cannot wear breasts, in America” (Smith). Women are
treated as an object and placed on a pedestal, and when the ideal woman demands
respect, she is shamed. When a woman decides to wear something provocative, she
is shamed. The laws in Islamic culture ensure this will not happen by
disguising a women’s beauty, but women are people just like men are. It is only
necessary for a woman to be modest when a man is being immoral. Western culture
must cease to objectify women and control their modesty.
Modesty is not just a way of dressing
– it is a mindset too. How a woman dresses is only half of what it really means.
One’s mindset, morals, and beliefs are what make a humble woman modest. A girl
may wear a knee length dress with a high neckline, but dance in a promiscuous
way. She appears to be modest to the eye, but in reality she is immodest at
heart. This is the kind of “modesty” seen at catholic schools – since girls
cannot get the attention they crave through clothes, they try to get it through
inappropriate dancing. A girl can dress as modestly as she likes but it means
nothing with any morals.
“Modesty” is not fixed. “Modesty” is not
three inches about the knee or a full face veil. “Modesty” is relative, a
choice, a personal decision regarding the person involved. A “modest” person is
not one who rejects compliments and dons a potato sack to avoid making the
opposite sex uncomfortable. A modest person is one who acknowledges their worth
and others, demands respect, and dresses as she likes. The definition of
modesty today is nothing like its original meaning, which goes to prove that
the definition is open to interpretation.
Works Cited
Adichie,
Chimamanda Ngozi. “The Danger of a Single Story.” TED. Jul. 2009. Lecture.
Harper,
Douglas. "Modesty (N.)." Online
Etymology Dictionary. Web. 9 Feb. 2015.
“Islamic
State Tightens Modesty Laws for Women.” The
Jerusalem Post. 25 July 2014. Web. 9 Feb. 2015.
“Modesty.”
Merriam-Webster. Merriam-Webster. Web. 9 Feb. 2015.
Smith,
Robyn. "Women, Not Just Men, Deserve the Right to Free Their
Nipples." The Independent Florida
Alligator. 28 July 2014. Web. 9 Feb. 2015.